A little of this, and a little of that.
A feral child who speaks no known language or tongue, the Author was raised by monks in a remote, Tibetan lamisary. At the age of 15 he developed an unfortunate allergy to lamas, and relocated to South Dakota via the Tibetan Witness Protection Program, which conveniently created an elaborate backstory and family that he loves to this day.
He completed High School at the eponymous Madison High School in Madison South Dakota, and matriculated with a Bachelor's degree in English (concentration Critical Theory) from St. John's University. After six months in Mineapolis (and being one of the few people to ever have been mugged in that fair — but cold — city, he relocated to Budapest, Hungary, where he supposedly tought English as a Foreign Language for three years. Since late 1995 he has resided in NorthEastern Pennsylvanis (NEPA) where he makes images and pretends to speak the English Language on a regular basis.
If you stricken with pity, you may attempt to assuage his tormented soul with something from his Amazon wish-list.
Alternatively, you could attempt to relieve his abject poverty (and enlighten your own life, or that of a loved one), by purchasing something at the yardsale.
If you wish to ape the author, enjoy one of his favorite past-times, and peruse the Gallery of Self-abuse.