performance artist jokes

March 16th, 2006

This is a work-in-progress revision of the original page

  • A Performance Artist walks into a bar, and the bartender stares at him.
    “You know,” says the bartender, “we’ve got a drink named after you.”
    “Really?” says the Performance Artist. “You’ve got a drink named Harold?”
  • A Performance Artist walks into a bar and says “is the bar tender here?”
  • Three Performance Artists are walking along a street.
    Two of them walk into a bar.
    The third one ducks.
  • A Performance Artist walked into a bar. “Ouch!” he said.
  • Q: In a Performance Artist, what is cleanliness next to?
    A: Impossible.
  • Q: If you throw a Performance Artist in the water, what does he become?
    A: Wet.
  • Q: What happened when the Performance Artist fell into the copier?
    A: She was beside herself.
  • Police arrested two Performance Artists yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
    They charged one and let the other one off.
  • Q: How do Performance Artists turn on the lights?
    A: They open the car door.
  • Two Performance Artists were sitting on the floor…. One fell off.
  • Q: When is a Performance Artist NOT a Performance Artist?
    A: When it’s ajar.
  • Q: Why did the Performance Artist bring a ladder to the art gallery?
    A: He wanted to see some High Art
  • A Performance Artist walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves her a beer. When she’s finished the bartender asks, “Would you like another?” The Performance Artist answers, “No, I think not.” At which point she abruptly disappears.
  • A Performance Artist tried to sell his old car, but he was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, he told his problem to an actor he worked with. The actor told him, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”

    “That doesn’t matter,” replied the Performance Artist, “if I only can sell the car.”

    “Okay,” said the actor. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.”

    The following weekend, the Performance Artist made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the actor asked the Performance Artist, “Did you sell your car?”

    “No,” replied the Performance Artist, “why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it.”

  • Q: Why did the Performance Artist stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
    A: Because it said ‘concentrate’.
  • Q: What did the Performance Artist say to the hot dog vendor?
    A: Make me one with everything.
  • Q: How do Performance Artists go through the forest?
    A: They take the psychopath.
  • Q: How many performance artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: I don’t know. I left.
    submitted by Carson F.
  • Q: What did the Performance Artist get on his I.Q. test?
    A: Drool
    submitted by Jeremy Christensen
  • Q – what has two legs and bleeds alot?
    A – Half a performance artist
    submitted by Anthony Schrag
  • A Performance Artist walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

1 comment(s)

  1. comment by the Other michael on Monday, Jan 19th, 2009 10:02 am

    OJotD: Be my guest!

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