August 9th, 2003

Are you feeling lucky, punk?: “Between Memorial Day and Labor Day last year, major American newspapers and wire services ran 2,240 articles on West Nile virus, which kills fewer than 300 Americans a year, while there were 257 articles on food poisoning, which will kill more than 5,000 of us (beware that potato salad!).”

August 7th, 2003

South Beach Disco: It’s a dizzying array of pop-up windows, frantic animation, error messages, spam, porn, and the worst of what the web can be…all starting out innocently enough…until you curiously begin to click. Not work-friendly heh-heh-heh.

August 7th, 2003

Recall Gary for Governor!: “With straight talk such as this, we immediately realized that we had made the right choice. Gary is a natural leader. Here is a man who could finally bring California out of the wilderness, whose innate nobility and common sense would save us all. Compared to Coleman, Gray Davis is just a whore for campaign contributions. Darrell Issa is a pistol-packin’ hustler playing at being a congressman. Bill Simon is, well, Bill Simon. And Dick Riordan couldn’t even beat Simon in last year’s primary. We knew then and there that Gary Coleman stood head-and-shoulders above the rest of the field”

August 6th, 2003

my other-other blog, amazing text, is alive and well and growing with the awkward bits afloat out in the net:

The effects of space dust on the Earth are currently unknown. As I said, we read a Reader’?s Digest condensed version of Moby Dick, sparing us from all those god-awful chapters concerning the proper dissection of whales. Fatal Error.

As personal as it seems, almost all of this information is contained in public records. Today’s Tupperware Party is in more places than ever before! Not only can you join a Tupperware Party at a friend’s or neighbor’s home, but now you can join the Party at your local mall or online! The world-famous Tupperware Party is more accessible than ever before! So no matter where you live or how much time your schedule allows, you can always join the Party … and make it an enjoyable and unforgettable experience that’s all your own. I nearly tripped on a skull.

Why the overblown self-congratulatory name? Well, it’s a long and silly story….. so don’t worry about it.

August 5th, 2003

Can anyone tell me why I am the #1 search result?????

Google Search: obstetrics and gynecology headhunters

August 2nd, 2003

: : : : : Digital Data Porn : : : : :

August 1st, 2003

Algae Cakes vs. the Moon Program

These are also described as “Cap’n Kirk McAllister’s famous algae cakes.” You’re looking at the tiny room in which an astronaut spent six months underground as an experiment. Eventually he disappeared, but only after reporting that he could not stop cooing. I am serious.

This was an essential part of all late-60s moonbase scenarios. People would live on algae. Why we would want to build houses on the Moon so we could eat algae and suffer from gas-alien-induced coos was never completely explained. I think this is why the space program suffered that fatal stall – at some point someone said "stop and think, just a minute. We’re going to send a man to live for six months in a tiny box underground with nothing but algae cakes to study the effects of eating algae cakes in a tiny box undeground for six months."

Heads nod around the table.

"Okay, well, leaving aside the questionable objectives of the study, why do we have to do it on the moon?"

Eyes roll – oh, Christ, here he goes on that "why can’t we drive to North Dakota and do it" routine again. But eventually he makes his point forcefully enough, and when NASA draws up plans to build a network of undeground Waffle Houses on the moon, enough people say hey, wait a minute to call the entire enterprise into question.

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