knee.jerk.art

March 31st, 2003



Send Back
the Statue
of Liberty

words.art

March 31st, 2003

Electronic Poetry Center

The EPC serves as a central gateway to resources in electronic poetry and poetics at the University at Buffalo and on the Web at large. Our aim is simple: to make available a wide range of resources centered on digital and contemporary formally innovative poetries, new media writing, and literary programming.

The EPC itself makes extensive resources available through its E-Poetry and Author libraries. These libraries provide curated lists of resources on a focused range of authors for personal use, research, and teaching. Additionally, the EPC curates lists of links to similar digital and literary projects, related book publishers, literary magazines, and other resources. In addition the EPC offers substantial sound resources that will not be found elsewhere. These include the vast resources of the UBU-EPC MP3 library and the award-winning interview and performances series of LINEbreak.

UPDATE 2012.05.30: Well I’ll be dipped — I encountered the EPC nearly 10 years ago, and then forgot about it. Serves me right! Some links have been updated in the above.

March 30th, 2003

Boldt Castle Located at the heart of the Thousand Island Region, Boldt Castle is the grandest of all Gilded Age mansions, and the setting of a tragic love story.

March 30th, 2003

Cinema articles from HindustanTimes.com.

wrottings.art

March 29th, 2003

WROTTINGS: what I wrot(e)
Word Up!

New Funkiness over within WROTTINGS.

flash.art

March 28th, 2003

FLASHes of ~TuRmOil~
from furtherfield. FLASH art&sound readily accessible over even a low-speed connection like mine.

retro.art

March 28th, 2003


Photostatic Retrograde Archive 34

“Detournement Issue.” This issue explores the then-new-to-us technique
of detournement, where radical content is wed with mundane form. The
idea (as espoused by Debord and others) was to bring truth to the
masses in a manner that they would be willing to give attention to.
This collection of works by turns hews closely, and veers wide of,
the mark. And in so doing, it reflects the range of contributors and
mindsets that the Photostatic project had amassed by this point, some
six years into the series. Lang Thompson ‘s “funnies” hit some key
notes for the issue. An early appearance of the concept of the
“information virus” makes an appearance in the guise of a call for
works put out by Jonathan Prince. In addition, the “Art Strike
1990-1993″ meme, so ably spread by Stewart Home and others, also
makes a prominent appearance. Thad Metz loaned us a collection of
detourned adverts by anonymous creators, which appear in several
places in the issue, and some fine moments appear in the form of
works by Dadata, Joel Score, Paul Weinberg, John Stickney, and
others. The usual inclusion of columns by Miekal And, Brad Goins,
Thomas Wiloch, and others; and reviews of audio and print works,
complete the selection.

food.art

March 28th, 2003

Texas-Wiener.com
Coney Island Lunch, Lackawanna Avenue, Scranton.

Following the recipe
and traditions of our grandfather and father, we have been making our Texas Wieners the
same way for over 80 years!

We start with a Berk’s All Beef Wiener. Sliced in half, but not all the way through, and grilled to perfection. Every action is performed in front of the customer, the way its always been. Then we serve it on a steamed National Bakery Roll (a local favorite).  Add our Dusseldorf mustard and fresh diced onions (diced by our 1928 Model Hobart
Chopper
), the wiener is then topped with our famous homemade Chili Sauce. Mmmm..good!!!!

When you’re in Northeast Pa, just about every restaurant here sells some kind of version of our Texas Wiener.
When you have been around as long as us, they figure its got to help them. But don’t waste your time, come to the source and try the original!

umbrella.art

March 27th, 2003

You can’t wear it on your head, but the

Sound-Light Umbrella

is a must-have for “modern people aspiring after happiness and beauty.”

We are Chong Qing Yun Guang Communication Co., Ltd. located in Chongqing China, which specialize in designing and manufacturing “Sound-Light Umbrella” to meet modern people aspiring after happiness and beauty. We are very pleased to recommend our new products to you. The technology of our innovative products was already applied for patent, patent no. is ZL 97 2 29620. 4. The “Sound-Light Umbrella” has a lovely cartoon or football-shaped light on the top of umbrella with which there is a piece of music or more memorized in CMOS chip. When you lightly press button on the handle of umbrella, the memorized music will work and lamp will be on. The “Sound-Light Umbrella” has been deeply attracted by young people. Our products can be used as gifts, toys, sporting goods, souvenir, decorations and advertising, etc. More information about our products please visit our website*. Our company is second to none in this field. We hope we can establish long-term business relationship on the basis of equality & mutual benefit.

You are welcome to customize the “Sound-Light Umbrella” as per your request. We will sincerely provide our best service to you.

*a website which features a MIDI-version of “Jingle Bells”, dancing flowers and butterflies, along with a Happy Panda carrying what one presumes is a “Sound-Light Umbrella”. and even further information (via violet text on a yellow background):

Brings life more enjoyment and gives more beauty to the world.
“Sound and Light Umbrella” is the new technology manufacture of YunGuang Corporation. And the patent number is 97229620.4. It is the outcome for connecting electronical technology with traditional umbrella. Some graceful music and kinds of voice are memorized in CMOS chip that located in the handle of umbrella. On the top of umbrella there is lovely color light whose shape looks like a cartoon or an idiograph. The color light is flashing while the music is turning. Every one for the special originality welcomed it.
The design and making of “Sound and Light Umbrella”are perfect.. At the same time, the using is simple too. Only to press the button, the sound and light will be shown. And as soon as the music stopped the light turned off too.
Till now we have “toys umbrella”, “sports fans umbrella”, “safety warning umbrella”, “advertising umbrella”, ” art and craft umbrella” and other series. Welcome to order them as your expectation.
“Sound and Light Umbrella” will make your life more wonderful.

With more dancing roses, but “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” this time. You need to click on the “News” button (Sound-Light Umbrella news??!? What could there be?) for a wild MIDI-trip with no discernable melody.

March 27th, 2003

what I meant to say is…

My, aren’t you looking stylish today, sir!

In other words, my resume is now available on-line.

job.art

March 27th, 2003


Hire Me, Dumbass.com

After months of mailing the most professional and sincere cover letters to no avail, I changed my strategy and began mailing the most ridiculous cover letters imaginable. Finally, rejection letters came pouring in. But I wasn’t disappointed. These rejection letters were received with glee, for they were proof that my idiotic queries were getting attention!

ah-hah! now I’ve got a plan…..

fins.art

March 27th, 2003


The Fish, and How to Feed Them

Chloe (wearing an umbrella hat, below) has started up an obsessive site documenting her fish (tanks & bowls), their water level change, PH values, ammonia and temperature at
Water Logging. Obsessive, but readable. Nice design, too.

umbrellas.art

March 27th, 2003


Real Performance Artists Wear Umbrella Hats

four people stylishly displaying thier umbrella attire
John S., Chloe K., Michael P. and Vaness N. are too proud of their hats.
Photo by L. Chloe Kaczenski

The NOAA weather service points out the necessity of wearing umbrella hats
for the modern fisherman as it “frees hands for more important fishing tasks”.

For the amateur, you can buy them from GagWorks.

Fun-and-Folly online has a wide variety of novelty hats including the “stopsign”, “shark attack”, “rubber chicken”, “pig with wings”, a “Deluxe Velvet Alice Mad Hatter” hat for $59.98, and–of course–the ol’ umbrella hat.

umbrellahats.com claims to sell the famed quality original, full-sized TM “Umbrella Hats” Water-resistant nylon.

To make things even more confusing, Cheap Sales Consulting advises us
that they have the “Ultimate Umbrella Hat” and warns “Do not be fooled by phony hats that mostly sell for less money. They will not be authentic or waterproof!” Plus, they have the “Patriotic USA and Puerto Rican” Umbrella Hats embalzoned with the appropriate flag.

Guess neither of them has heard of Robert Patten, inventor of the Umbrella Hat.

Umbrella Hats ROCK!, along with Burger King Crowns,
Mickey Mouse hats, and “Those hats that look like chartoon characters faces”
. So sayeth “CHEETOS!”. A person fond of the “CH” chombination….

Our favorite chapeau made an appearance in a Late Show Top-Ten List in 2001.

Trudy
points out that For some reason, muggers steer clear of people wearing umbrella hats.

Is it related to the mystic connection between Spiderman and Umbrella Hats??? Only the Michigan State Fair knows for sure.

On another side-note, the Half-Bakery muses on the Umbrella-Coat-Hat combination.

Finally, here’s a couple of cute kids wearing their rain-repellers (at Plympton, MA’s “Strawberry Shortcake Road Race”). Although they’re playing it safe by wearing ponchos as well. Ponchos that say “Cool”. And let’s face it–when you wear an umbrella hat, you are the
epitome of cool.

I wonder why no-one wears them at the Academy Awards?

work.art

March 26th, 2003

Oh, and I got laid off today.

Seven weeks severance. Could be worse.

Watch for my resume, tomorrow.

March 26th, 2003

CNN.com – Morgan Freeman goes nuts
It’s a puff piece, but it’s a puff piece on Morgan Freeman. You know,

Easy Reader
???!!!

police.art

March 26th, 2003

Dupont, PA, beefs up police presence in response to Terror Status.

I, for one, will sleep better.

service.art

March 25th, 2003

Mikita Global Services was last spotted at Burning Woman 2003. Further updates as he approached Points East available at HomeLandDrifter.

xray.art

March 25th, 2003

Dave Mandl’s review of
X-Ray: the Unauthorized Autobiography of Ray Davies

objective.art

March 25th, 2003

I’ve just discovered I have something in common with George W. Bush, Jr.:
we don’t watch a lot of TV.

Of course, I troll the ‘net for news. I wonder if we frequent the same
sites, as well.

mummy.art

March 23rd, 2003

WWN: Space Alien Mummy Stuns Scientists!

LAHUN, EGYPT — Officials have quietly covered up what may be the most stunning archaeological discovery of all time: The body of a perfectly preserved, carefully mummified space alien found buried in an ancient pyramid!
The 5-foot-3-inch creature was discovered on January 7 near Lahun by an archaeologist exploring a small pyramid near the 12th Dynasty pyramid of Senusret II, but little public mention of the extraordinary find has been made.

“The mummy dates from about 1880 B.C. and is humanoid, but clearly not human,” says a source in the Egyptian Department of Antiquities, who provided details and photographs of the find but spoke under condition of anonymity. “It’s unclear what sex it was, but we do know it had unusual reptilian-type skin, no external ears and overly large, almond-shaped eyes. The mummy’s tomb inscriptions showed it was a counselor to the king named Osirunet, which means ‘star- or heaven-sent.’ The body was mummified and buried with great respect and care, accompanied by a number of strange objects that we cannot identify.”

The alien mummy was unearthed by Dr. Viktor Lubek, a Czechoslovakian citizen and retired professor from the University of Pennsylvania, according to the Egyptian source. The archaeologist located its hidden burial chamber while investigating a small pyramid to the south of the main pyramid at the Senusret II site thought to contain the pharaoh’s queen.

“It was apparent from the outset that this tomb contained someone extraordinary because the mummy had been preserved in a very unusual manner,” the Egyptian source says. “There was a mixture of gold and clay coating the corpse, and remaining vestiges of a linen-type cloth covered the being’s skin. Objects inside the tomb included devices made of a tough synthetic-type material that no one has been able to identify, and the uses of these strange machine-like items are a complete mystery. No one’s ever seen anything like this in any Egyptian tomb.”

The source says the bizarre find has caused consternation among Egyptian officials, who want to cover it up until a plausible explanation can be found for the strange mummy. The government has consulted a number of respected archaeologists, but to date none can explain the artifact in ordinary terms. “The truth is, almost every expert who has seen this mummy has concluded it’s not of earthly origin,” the source says. “There’s a feeling this is an extraterrestrial who somehow ended up advising an Egyptian king. But everyone in the government is shying away from that conclusion because it backs up wacky New Age ideas that the ancient Egyptians had help from space aliens in building their extraordinary civilization. The Egyptians refuse to believe their heritage came from outer space,” he said.

The mummy is slated to be flown to a university in Florida where specialists will examine it more closely.

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