116 words of the original 16th century Lipsum plus 384 additional words, carefully chosen from Cicero's very own "De Finibus", bonded by superior scripting and utmost linguistic accuracy guarantee for the web's most random ...ah, randomness - 500 times sheer bliss for the typographically inclined. Ipso facto.

Heaven, I'm in Heaven
And my heart beats so
That I can hardly speak....

Voice One: "You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

Voice Two: "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much.

It's St. Ubaldo Day, today!

But I bet you already knew that....

UPDATE: see June 01 for a brief recap and photos.

Surely you've heard songs that contain short movie quote clips (often at the beginning of the track). Well, what's worse than hearing such a clip and thinking to yourself, "I know I've heard it before, but what's that from?!" Or maybe you have no idea what movie it's from, but you would like to know.

Submit a clip for others to identify; or identify a clip others have submitted. Hmmmm....

Experimental post-cyberpunk fiction

Ah. Well. That explains everything.

At long last, Space Mantra is available on CD.

In effects, it is ago of some time what it has been spread the news of the discovery of a twelfth component of our planetary system but him elaborate scientific they remain still in possession of the NASA (Official Corporate body of the United States) therefore to we can found only today on the information that originate from the Sumeris and accordingly, from the translations of the dott. Sitghin and therefore, we hold good the 3600 year-old indication (according to our temporal method) the period of rotation of the planet around the Sun that is of only 360 days for the earth.

From this only element he/she is deduced that his/her orbit is very lengthened and the external extremity or, that opposite to the Perielio reaches an elevated depth in the Cosmic Space.

It is probable, but shown not but this planet can draw near not few to some external planet of a star of the Constellation of Orion if not straight to act from “Planet Shuttle” between our system and another similar.

Erm, no—I have no idea what is going on, here.

No sketching British items at a Toronto museum. But notes are allowed. Just no sketches, please. Thank you, move along.

This has been floating around for...months?...in my bookmarks list for no known reason. It's a good overview of stuff you didn't know you should know, and has lots of links to other articles. Including the Lettrists. Ah.

The VISUAL PROOF that NASA DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE!!!

Found on stealth tribe. But you didn't hear it from me.

(poem.)

The only way I'm gonna see it

Unless Vanessa kicks up a fuss.

:::sigh:::

As Dan Kennedy noted: ” It took what seemed like forever tonight for George W. Bush to get around to Abu Ghraib. And when he did, it was to blame it all on the troops…” And then mispronounce the name of the prison three different ways.

Hee-hee-hee. I caught a clip on the radio this morning--two ways in the same sentence. ::snort::

Thank goodness that I'm perfect.

UPDATE 05.26.04: a Reuters story has more details--including transliterations!

UPDATE 06.25.04: Real(ugh)Media clip from Jon Stweart's Daily Show, entitled LBJ never referred to the "Tit Offensive.".

Bleauggghhh!!!
I swallowed a bug!

Well, at least it wasn't a cicada.

...on the football field.

Er, sorry about that, fellow-Americans--soccer field.

WTF, Andy? What's the background on this?!?! AAAArgh! I have no idea what is going on: some sort of warped Philipino artsy christmas stuff.

I want more.

And I want to go home and make stuff now.

Whadda ya know. I still have a Gmail invite left over.

Any offers?

UPDATE 05.24.04: Some people have been asking what they should offer me. Doesn't work that way. You make an offer and see what happens. My first invite netted me a Cadbury's Creme egg shipped directly from Britain. One person has offered me his (?) resultant two Gmail invites; another has offered to make me life. I like the insousiance of the latter, remain doubtful over the mechanics of the former. Dance, people, and see if I'll dance with you....

Citing the security of 7 million daily riders, 48,000 employees and its transportation network, New York City Transit yesterday proposed a ban on unauthorized photography, filming and videotaping on city subways, buses and Staten Island Railway trains. The press and businesses or individuals with permits would be exempt.

Aaauuuuuughh!

I'm sorry. Since we already can't take picture of oil refineries, I'm beginning to wonder just what sort of state we are living in.

thanks to the Cthuligans.

Found via BumpList.

'M.I.C.H.A.E.L. the Magnificently Illiterate Chinese Handyman Atheist known from Ethiopia to Londonderry '

Courtesy University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology, the supposed home of the supposed Dr. Viktor Lubek, Finder of Lost Alien Mummies.

But I like Evil Kangaroos!

What really disturbs me are the ads that ask me to "shoot the criminal." I don't like that. No sir. Notonebit.

Sad thing is, this describes a lot of my conversations.

Mash that track
Give the past a hack
Step on a legal crack
Break the RIAA's back

When a cool song comes along you must mash it
Before the dream sits out too long you must mash it
When copyright's going wrong you must mash it

Now mash it - into shape
Mash it up, get straight
Go forward, move ahead
Try to detect it - it's not too late
To mash it, mash it good

/ C - G - / D - C - / : / C - - - /

When a vocal gets released you must mash it
You will never live it down unless you mash it
No one gets their tracks until they mash it

I say mash it
Mash it good
I say mash it
Mash it good

/ E G C - / E G D - / :

{Repeat first two verses}

Now mash it - into shape
Shape it up, get straight
Go forward, move ahead
Try to detect it - it's not too late
To mash it - into shape
Shape it up, get straight
Go forward, move ahead
Try to detect it - it's not too late
To mash it, mash it good

Er, ah, thanks.

Oil prices have been kept abnormally low for a long time and we have built much of our economy on the assumption that oil will stay cheap. We need to build an infrastructure that is not so dependent on oil. And we will not have the impetus to do so unless gasoline prices keep rising. In the meantime, we will all experience pain in the form of higher costs- with devastating consequences to our economy.

Gasoline prices are so unrealistically low that consumers don't care and have been purchasing large quantities of reckless vehicles like individual cars and SUVs . Roughly half of the United States' petroleum demand is for personal consumption, primarily for cars, trucks and S.U.V.'s, a situation that, in turn, makes the nation ever more dependent on an increasingly endangered supply of foreign oil. The only way to send a message to american consumers that they are abusing a limited resourse and FUNDING TERRORISM is for the PRICE OF GASOLINE TO GO THROUGH THE ROOF.

Please write to the CEOs of Shell, Exxon, Mobil, etc. and REQUEST THEY RAISE GAS PRICES to help America WIN THE WAR ON TERROR! Please pass this email on to every PATRIOTIC AMERICAN you know.

$5 a gallon, baby. By November. Bring it on!!!

See also, Fuel Efficient Driving Habits over at World Changing

Theoretically, this page is about laser tattoo removal. However, I feel it's truly a crypto-goth-mocking page—a type of page I heartily endorse. Indeed, any subculture that flaunts its uniqueness by dressing in uniform styles should be mocked heartily. See also: alt.rockers and People at Art Openings.

That is all. Carry on.

Chloe talks about her chair. I think.
I theoretically know a lot about what's going on here.

Theoretically.

Watch the video.

FACT:  Cicadas are vicious killers.

FACT:  Cicadas prey on innocent children and pets.

FACT:  Cicadas are seething with deadly venom and flesh-
             eating bacteria.

What should I do if a Cicada knocks on my door and pretends to be a Jehova's Witness?
This is a common occurrence. If it happens to you don't panic. Simply invite the Cicada in to hear your Amway presentation. This is generally a strong enough repellant.

Tue May 18, 2004 07:01 AM ET - PORTLAND, Ore. (Reuters) - With the retail price of gasoline topping $2 a gallon for the first time, Democratic White House hopeful John Kerry on Tuesday chided President Bush for failing to offer hard-hit consumers any help.

You wanna know what I think? $5 a gallon, that's what I think. Only then will we get the message.

You really didn't wanna know what I thought, did you. Nope. Didn't think so.

READ ALONE.....ESPECIALLY THE POEM


With everything going on in my life right now,
I am not taking any chances!

Maybe silly but so what....
nobody believes the official 
spokesperson, but everyone 
believes the unidentified source 
Make sure you read the poem! 

CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish, for her 
boyfriend of three years,David Marsden, 
to propose to her. Then one day 
when she was out to lunch David 
proposed! She accepted, but then had to 
leave because she had a meeting in 
20 min. When she got to her office, she 
noticed on her computer she had 
some e-mail's. She checked it, the usual 
stuff from her friends, but then 
the saw one that she had never gotten before. 
It was this poem. She simply deleted it 
without even reading all of it. 
BIG MISTAKE! Later that evening, she 
received a phone call from the police. 
It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident 
with an 18 wheeler. 
He didn't survive. 

CASE 2: Take Katie Robinson She received 
this poem and being the believer 
that she was, she sent it to a few of her 
friends but didn't have enough 
e-mail addresses to send out the full 10 
that you must. Three days later, 
Katie went to a masquerade ball. Later that 
night when she left to get to her car, 
Was killed in that spot by a hit-and-run 
drunk driver. 

CASE 3: Richard S. Willis sent this poem out 
within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 
4 hours later walking along the street to 
his new job interview with a really big 
company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his 
secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up 
to him and told him of her passionate 
crush on him that she had had on him for 
2 years. Three days later, he proposed to 
her and they got married. Cynthia and 
Richard are still married with three 
children, happy as ever! 

This is the poem: 

Around the corner I have a friend, 
In this great city that has no end, 
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, 
And before I know it, a year is gone. 
And I never see my old friends face, 
For life is a swift and terrible race, 
He knows I like him just as well, 
As in the days when I rang his bell. 
And he rang mine but we were younger then, 
And now we are busy, tired men. 
Tired of playing a foolish game, 
Tired of trying to make a name. 
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim 
Just to show that I'm thinking of him." 
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, 
And distance between us grows and grows. 
Around the corner, yet miles away, 
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today." 
And that's what we get and deserve in the end. 
Around the corner, a vanished friend. 

Remember to always say what you mean. 
If you love someone, tell them. 
Don't be afraid to express yourself. 
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to 
you. 
Because when you decide that it is 
the right time it might be too late. 
Seize the day. 
Never have regrets. 
And most importantly, stay close to your 
friends and family, for they have helped make 
you the person that you are today. 
You must send this on in 3 hours after reading 
the letter to 10 
other 
people. 

If you do this, you will receive unbelievably 
good luck in 
love. 

bsp; 

The person that you are most attracted to will 
soon return your 
feelings. 

THIS IS NOT A JOKE! 

You have read the warnings, seen the cases, 
and the consequences. 

*NOTE* The more people that you send this to, 
the better luck You will have. 
SMILE, even through your tears!!!!!

"'I can't believe I'm finally here!' you think to yourself as the mammoth Greyhound bus veers into the Port Authority and grinds to a shuddering stop."

You've learned a lot about New York from books, movies and most importantly- the television show Friends, but now that you're actually here you can barely contain your excitement!

You stumble off the bus and stretch your legs, still groggy from the 19 hour trip from Kansas. You're in town to visit your wealthy and eccentric Aunt Ginny, who is spending the day having her blood replaced with Botox on the Upper East Side. Now you have the entire day to yourself to explore the most exciting city in the world!

To Check Out Times Square click here

Assistant Secretary of Defense Charles Abell has a master's from Columbus University, a diploma mill Louisiana shut down. Deputy Assistant Secretary Patricia Walker lists among her degrees, a bachelor's from Pacific Western, a diploma mill banned in Oregon and under investigation in Hawaii.

CBS News requested interviews with both officials. The Pentagon turned us down, saying, "We don't consider it an issue."

Oh. Wait a minute.

Acrylic, ink, enamel, mixed media, etc. on generally small surfaces. Mmmmmm...

When I paint, time is divided between impulsive, free-form, gestural strokes and more time-consuming details of finer lines, text and illustration. With no pre-determined composition in mind, images eventually appear from the shadows of texture to be integrated with “soundbites” of recent conversation. Through use of text I find an outlet for spontaneous prose and fragments of thought with stories developing in a stream of consciousness. Although a message is often the result, it is uncovered through a process rather than intent. There are times when pouncing on the work seems to be the only option but more often than not there is a staring contest between myself and the painting. A tough battle of brushstrokes vs. contemplation. Personal issues, relationships and social commentary are themes which emerge unfettered in a strictly square format.

I paint to record the moments of clarity, synchronicity and harmony in my life; deliver to the observer, a vision rich with foresight, prose and emotion; build a visual sanctuary with absolute acceptance; simultaneously complicate and simplify; reflect society's urgency to produce, reproduce and mass-produce; create responses of anxiety and delight, confusion and lucidity.

etoy.DAY-CARE, a camp realized for BIG TORINO (Biennale Internazionale Arte Giovane 2002 / "BIG SOCIAL GAME") was in full production mode for the first time between april 19 and may 19, infecting the future of torino: 7 days a week etoy.AGENTS trained teams of 30 children between 7 and 12 years while they took their first steps on tomorrow's most crucial playground.

in producing short etoy.CHILDREN-MOVIES they learn to create their own digital meaning, values and context to implement reality instead of following those who sell simplified truth. through intelligent and exciting game play the etoy.CORPORATION invests social capital into 1'000 curious children.

I would like to be one of your safty patrol people because I love to help children that need it like crossing the street.

Ancient Egypt, Nazi UFOs, Area 51, UFO Pictures, Atlantis, Aliens

Thu May 13, 2004 08:37 AM ET

SHANGHAI (Reuters) - China's largest beverage maker is going where no other Chinese firm has gone before -- it has shipped the first retail batch of its own cola to the home of the carbonated soft drink, the United States.

Hangzhou Wahaha Group, whose 170,000-bottle shipment is on the way to New York and Los Angeles, will have to slug it out with giants PepsiCo Inc and Coca-Cola Co in the mammoth $64 billion market.

Coca-Cola and PepsiCo own eight of the top 10 soft drink brands in the United States, while British sweets and drink maker Cadbury Schweppes Plc claims the remainder.

"We have sent our first shipment of Future Cola to the United States and it should get there in June," the spokesman said.

Wahaha, which translates as "laughing baby" and comes from a popular children's folk song, decided to enter the U.S. cola market following the success of its milk exports last year, on which the spokesman declined to provide details.

She also declined to say what the U.S. retail price of Future Cola would be, but a 600-ml bottle sells for about two yuan (24 U.S. cents) in China.

Wahaha is regarded as a private enterprise despite the state holding a passive stake, and has attracted plant investment from French food group Danone totaling $120 million.

Its products include bottled water, teas, milk drinks and Future Cola, whose label bears a red-and-white color scheme similar to that of Coke.

Coca-Cola dominates the Chinese market with a share of 24 percent in 2003, while Future Cola had a seven percent share, the official English-language Shanghai Daily said.

I liked Hellboy. There was a lot of detail in the corners of things. And, at one point in disused water-logged subway tunnels, there was a stack of mouldering typewriters--if typewriters could be said to moulder.

This is probably a little late to be posting, since I saw the movie more than a month ago.

Deal with it.

MEXICO CITY, Mexico (AP) -- Mexican Air Force pilots filmed 11 unidentified flying objects in the skies over southern Campeche state, a Defense Department spokesman confirmed Tueday.

A videotape made widely available to the news media on Tuesday shows the bright objects, some sharp points of light and others like large headlights, moving rapidly in what appears to be a late-evening sky.

[...]

"This is historic news," Maussan told reporters. "Hundreds of videos (of UFOs) exist, but none had the backing of the armed forces of any country. ... The armed forces don't perpetuate frauds."

Look, if I hear one more thing about Shrek 2 I am going to kill you, Ok?

Just so that's clear.

UPDATE: looks like I'm not alone.

Maybe, Maybe not. Discussion over at Electrolite

That is to say, the Howard Phillips Lovecraft Historical Society has collected a set of 1920's (&c) vintage fonts. Drool-worthy.

It might seem unlikely that the commander in chief would take his marching orders directly from on high -- unless you understand the views of the Rev. Timothy LaHaye, one of the most influential leaders of the Christian right, and a man who played a quiet but pivotal role in putting George W. Bush in the White House. If you know LaHaye at all, it's for his series of best-selling apocalyptic novels. You've seen the Left Behind novels everywhere: aboard airplanes, at the beach, in massive displays at Wal-Mart. In the nine years since the publication of the first novel, the series has sold 60 million copies. Next to the authors of the Bible itself, who didn't get royalties, LaHaye is Christianity's biggest publishing success ever.

LaHaye is a strict biblical reconstructionist -- taking the Good Book as God's literal truth. His books depict a fantastical, fictional version of what he and his followers think is in store for the human race. Not allegorically, not poetically, but word-for-word true. If the Bible (Revelation 9:1-11) says that billions of six-inch-long scorpionlike monsters with the heads of men, "flowing hair like that of women" and the teeth of lions, wearing crowns and helmets, will swarm across the globe gnawing on unbelievers -- well, that's exactly what LaHaye says will happen. And soon.

LaHaye's books, and his quirky interpretation of biblical prophecy that stands behind them, revolve intensely around Iraq, because LaHaye believes that Armageddon will be unleashed from the Antichrist's headquarters in Babylon. Since the 1970s -- when Iraq began a reconstruction project on the ruins of the ancient city, near Baghdad -- LaHaye has said that Saddam Hussein is carrying out Satan's mission. In 1999, LaHaye wrote that Saddam is "a servant of Satan," possessed by a demon, and that he could be "the forerunner of the Antichrist." Ultimately, says LaHaye, before Christ can return to Earth, Iraq, led by the Antichrist, must engage in a world-shaking showdown with Israel.

via a letter in Danny Schecter's daily News Dissector.

On a quite-related note is slacktivist's deconstruction of Left Behind, LeHaye's popular post-apocalypse series.

Germany’s Light:Tools has created a thin film you place on top of your TV screen that reduces the image to a grid of large pixels thus creating 100% dynamic TV art, all the time...

A self-organising electronic circuit has stunned engineers by turning itself into a radio receiver.

This accidental reinvention of the radio followed an experiment to see if an automated design process, that uses an evolutionary computer program, could be used to "breed" an electronic circuit called an oscillator. An oscillator produces a repetitive electronic signal, usually in the form of a sine wave.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - American motorists facing record-high pump prices are cruising new Internet sites created to help steer them to the cheapest gasoline in town.

Web sites like GasBuddy.com and GasPriceWatch.com give consumers a free, up-to-the-minute way to track prices at retail outlets that line the nation's highways.

The sites have enlisted an army of volunteer "spotters" who scout and contribute prices collected as they commute to work or duck out for lunch.

"Now I know how to beat the system after observing how these gas stations operate," said Mike Wolf, 49, an experienced spotter on GasBuddy's Twin Cities Web site, where he goes by the name "wolfer."

For drivers of gas-guzzling SUVs, a nickel price difference translates to $1 in savings, based on a 20-gallon tank.

Google finally has a Blog, and the redesigned Blogger has been making news. I even heard it talked about on NPR's Morning Edition this, uh, morning. But I can't find it on their website, so it might just have been a local insert. Which is even more interesting....

UPDATE 05.13.04
Seems as though the Googleblog isn't a off-the-cuff as it might seem.

A California woman claimed she swallowed a live bullet and bit into a second round while eating a hotdog, and says she has the X-rays to prove it.

well, well, well.

Do you need money!!!!!!! Models Wanted!!!!!!! is now in Foundlings 3.

via MetaFilter.

props to the cthuligans tribe.

A construction worker has miraculously survived after six nails were embedded in his skull.

Isidro Mejia, 39, was rushed to hospital after his nailgun accidentally went off, shooting nails into his head.

Newspaper reports say doctors at Providence Holy Cross Hospital in Los Angeles had feared for his life when he arrived.

But Mr Mejia is now out of intensive care and doctors expect him to make a full recovery.

Extensive surgery

Surgeons removed the six nails over the course of five days.

"Four of the nails were embedded in his skull," said hospital spokesman Brian Green.

"Another was in his spinal column. Surgeons worked round the clock to take the nails out one by one.

"It was a very delicate process and was not completed for five days.

"The neurosurgeon who operated on Isidro could not believe he was still alive.

"With injuries like that, he should have been dead. He has been taken out of intensive care and although still groggy and on medication is expected to make a full recovery.

"His wife and family are obviously delighted that he survived and are looking forward to getting home," he said.

According to the reports, police have launched an investigation. However, they believe it was a bizarre accident.

"His colleagues said Isidro was using a nailgun that has both manual and fully automatic settings," said deputy sheriff Dan McPherson.

"It appears he slipped and fired into his skull."

PARIS, France (AP) -- Is the Mona Lisa headed for surgery?

Leonardo da Vinci's 500-year-old painting of the woman with the mysterious smile will go under the microscope and be X-rayed for the first time in a half-century to determine what's causing it to warp.

The world's most famous portrait, painted in Italy over several years beginning about 1505, has long been known to be fragile. The oil sits on a half-inch poplar board that has undergone many nips and tucks over time.

Last week, the Louvre Museum said warping was discovered during a recent routine check and announced a new study of the painting. The examinations will be done when the museum is closed -- allowing Leonardo's masterpiece to remain on public display.

Vincent Pomarede, chief curator in the Louvre's department of painting, said the study will help determine whether past repairs did more harm than good -- and whether new work is needed.

"We're launching this study to understand exactly what's happening," he told Associated Press Television News.

"On the other hand, we think perhaps at a certain time we might have to intervene, not at all on the picture layer, but the back, on the panel itself," Pomarede said.

"We are going to use the chance to examine it in ways that we've not been able to in previous years," he added, saying that high-tech microscopes would be used as well as X-rays, last taken in the 1950s.

Previous work on the portrait has included attaching a brace made of strips of wood to the back of the painting to prevent a crack in the poplar panel from worsening.

The cause of the crack is not known, Pomarede said.

For curators, the worry is that the warping could one day worsen the crack or cause the painted image to bulge. "Obviously that would be a big problem," he said.

"Today, all this isn't evolving the way we'd like it to," Pomarede said. "The convex form is warping in different ways -- there is one side moving more, and faster, than the other."

Nearly all 6 million visitors to the Louvre each year see the Mona Lisa. It reportedly has enjoyed an increase in American visitors due to Dan Brown's best-selling novel, "The Da Vinci Code."

For the Mona Lisa, little is left to chance: It's housed in an air-conditioned, bulletproof glass case and the humidity inside is carefully controlled.

Pomarede doesn't believe the daily barrage of camera flashes by tourists are damaging the painting, because the glass filters out all ultraviolet and most infrared light.

"It is more likely that (the warping is due) to pieces of wood added in the 17th and 18th centuries, and again in the middle of the 20th century," Pomarede said. He suspects a "different aging pattern" of the various pieces of wood is causing the Mona Lisa to warp.

The masterpiece has been through hard times. During World War II, French authorities hid the painting in small towns to keep it out of the hands of German forces. In 1911, an Italian house painter stole the Mona Lisa; it was recovered two years later in Florence and returned to France.

Pomarede says he's not too worried about the painting in the long run.

"Leonardo da Vinci worked brilliantly, and he knew perfectly well the evolution of materials," Pomarede said. "She's 500 years old and if we preserve her properly she will still be there 500 from now."

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Those, wacky, wacky, Elder Gods!

And, since his page reminded me, check out the two-caps-with-a-space-in-the-middle* Ghost Busters. And the original Ghost Breaker, and the 1940 remake, starring Bob Hope.

The Cthulhu comic they DON'T want YOU to see!