Updated blog is now at Interference Patterns. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Monday, March 31, 2003
knee.jerk.art 3/31/2003 08:33:03 PM
Electronic Poetry Center
The EPC serves as a central gateway to resources in electronic poetry and poetics at the University at Buffalo and on the Web at large. Our aim is simple: to make available a wide range of resources centered on digital and contemporary formally innovative poetries, new media writing, and literary programming.

The EPC itself makes extensive resources available through its E-Poetry and Author libraries. These libraries provide curated lists of resources on a focused range of authors for personal use, research, and teaching. Additionally, the EPC curates lists of links to similar digital and literary projects, related book publishers, literary magazines, and other resources. In addition the EPC offers substantial sound resources that will not be found elsewhere. These include the vast resources of the UBU-EPC MP3 library and the award-winning interview and performances series of LINEbreak.

3/31/2003 10:42:02 AM
Sunday, March 30, 2003
Boldt Castle Located at the heart of the Thousand Island Region, Boldt Castle is the grandest of all Gilded Age mansions, and the setting of a tragic love story.
3/30/2003 10:05:56 PM
Cinema articles from HindustanTimes.com.
3/30/2003 09:28:31 PM
Saturday, March 29, 2003
WROTTINGS: what I wrot(e) Word Up!

New Funkiness over within WROTTINGS.
3/29/2003 04:31:48 PM
Friday, March 28, 2003
FLASHes of ~TuRmOil~ from furtherfield. FLASH art&sound readily accessible over even a low-speed connection like mine.
3/28/2003 06:32:47 PM
Photostatic Retrograde Archive 34
"Detournement Issue." This issue explores the then-new-to-us technique of detournement, where radical content is wed with mundane form. The idea (as espoused by Debord and others) was to bring truth to the masses in a manner that they would be willing to give attention to. This collection of works by turns hews closely, and veers wide of, the mark. And in so doing, it reflects the range of contributors and mindsets that the Photostatic project had amassed by this point, some six years into the series. Lang Thompson 's "funnies" hit some key notes for the issue. An early appearance of the concept of the "information virus" makes an appearance in the guise of a call for works put out by Jonathan Prince. In addition, the "Art Strike 1990-1993" meme, so ably spread by Stewart Home and others, also makes a prominent appearance. Thad Metz loaned us a collection of detourned adverts by anonymous creators, which appear in several places in the issue, and some fine moments appear in the form of works by Dadata, Joel Score, Paul Weinberg, John Stickney, and others. The usual inclusion of columns by Miekal And, Brad Goins, Thomas Wiloch, and others; and reviews of audio and print works, complete the selection.
3/28/2003 06:26:46 PM
Coney Island Lunch, Lackawanna Avenue, Scranton.

Following the recipe and traditions of our grandfather and father, we have been making our Texas Wieners the same way for over 80 years!

We start with a Berk's All Beef Wiener. Sliced in half, but not all the way through, and grilled to perfection. Every action is performed in front of the customer, the way its always been. Then we serve it on a steamed National Bakery Roll (a local favorite).  Add our Dusseldorf mustard and fresh diced onions (diced by our 1928 Model Hobart Chopper), the wiener is then topped with our famous homemade Chili Sauce. Mmmm..good!!!!

When you're in Northeast Pa, just about every restaurant here sells some kind of version of our Texas Wiener. When you have been around as long as us, they figure its got to help them. But don't waste your time, come to the source and try the original!
3/28/2003 09:50:42 AM
Thursday, March 27, 2003
You can't wear it on your head, but the
Sound-Light Umbrella
is a must-have for "modern people aspiring after happiness and beauty."
We are Chong Qing Yun Guang Communication Co., Ltd. located in Chongqing China, which specialize in designing and manufacturing "Sound-Light Umbrella" to meet modern people aspiring after happiness and beauty. We are very pleased to recommend our new products to you. The technology of our innovative products was already applied for patent, patent no. is ZL 97 2 29620. 4. The "Sound-Light Umbrella" has a lovely cartoon or football-shaped light on the top of umbrella with which there is a piece of music or more memorized in CMOS chip. When you lightly press button on the handle of umbrella, the memorized music will work and lamp will be on. The "Sound-Light Umbrella" has been deeply attracted by young people. Our products can be used as gifts, toys, sporting goods, souvenir, decorations and advertising, etc. More information about our products please visit our website*. Our company is second to none in this field. We hope we can establish long-term business relationship on the basis of equality & mutual benefit.

You are welcome to customize the "Sound-Light Umbrella" as per your request. We will sincerely provide our best service to you.
*a website which features a MIDI-version of "Jingle Bells", dancing flowers and butterflies, along with a Happy Panda carrying what one presumes is a "Sound-Light Umbrella". and even further information (via violet text on a yellow background):
Brings life more enjoyment and gives more beauty to the world.
"Sound and Light Umbrella" is the new technology manufacture of YunGuang Corporation. And the patent number is 97229620.4. It is the outcome for connecting electronical technology with traditional umbrella. Some graceful music and kinds of voice are memorized in CMOS chip that located in the handle of umbrella. On the top of umbrella there is lovely color light whose shape looks like a cartoon or an idiograph. The color light is flashing while the music is turning. Every one for the special originality welcomed it.
The design and making of "Sound and Light Umbrella"are perfect.. At the same time, the using is simple too. Only to press the button, the sound and light will be shown. And as soon as the music stopped the light turned off too.
Till now we have "toys umbrella", "sports fans umbrella", "safety warning umbrella", "advertising umbrella", " art and craft umbrella" and other series. Welcome to order them as your expectation.
"Sound and Light Umbrella" will make your life more wonderful.
With more dancing roses, but "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" this time. You need to click on the "News" button (Sound-Light Umbrella news??!? What could there be?) for a wild MIDI-trip with no discernable melody.
3/27/2003 10:54:23 PM
what I meant to say is...

My, aren't you looking stylish today, sir!

In other words, my resume is now available on-line.
3/27/2003 07:07:17 PM
Hire Me, Dumbass.com
After months of mailing the most professional and sincere cover letters to no avail, I changed my strategy and began mailing the most ridiculous cover letters imaginable. Finally, rejection letters came pouring in. But I wasn't disappointed. These rejection letters were received with glee, for they were proof that my idiotic queries were getting attention!
ah-hah! now I've got a plan.....
3/27/2003 06:58:28 PM
The Fish, and How to Feed Them

Chloe (wearing an umbrella hat, below) has started up an obsessive site documenting her fish (tanks & bowls), their water level change, PH values, ammonia and temperature at Water Logging. Obsessive, but readable. Nice design, too.
3/27/2003 12:29:15 PM
Real Performance Artists Wear Umbrella Hats

four people stylishly displaying thier umbrella attire
John S., Chloe K., Michael P. and Vaness N. are too proud of their hats.
Photo by L. Chloe Kaczenski

The NOAA weather service points out the necessity of wearing umbrella hats for the modern fisherman as it "frees hands for more important fishing tasks".

For the amateur, you can buy them from GagWorks.

Fun-and-Folly online has a wide variety of novelty hats including the "stopsign", "shark attack", "rubber chicken", "pig with wings", a "Deluxe Velvet Alice Mad Hatter" hat for $59.98, and--of course--the ol' umbrella hat.

umbrellahats.com claims to sell the famed quality original, full-sized TM "Umbrella Hats" Water-resistant nylon.

To make things even more confusing, Cheap Sales Consulting advises us that they have the "Ultimate Umbrella Hat" and warns "Do not be fooled by phony hats that mostly sell for less money. They will not be authentic or waterproof!" Plus, they have the "Patriotic USA and Puerto Rican" Umbrella Hats embalzoned with the appropriate flag.

Guess neither of them has heard of Robert Patten, inventor of the Umbrella Hat.

Umbrella Hats ROCK!, along with Burger King Crowns, Mickey Mouse hats, and "Those hats that look like chartoon characters faces". So sayeth "CHEETOS!". A person fond of the "CH" chombination....

Our favorite chapeau made an appearance in a Late Show Top-Ten List in 2001.

Trudy points out that For some reason, muggers steer clear of people wearing umbrella hats.

Is it related to the mystic connection between Spiderman and Umbrella Hats??? Only the Michigan State Fair knows for sure.

On another side-note, the Half-Bakery muses on the Umbrella-Coat-Hat combination.

Finally, here's a couple of cute kids wearing their rain-repellers (at Plympton, MA's "Strawberry Shortcake Road Race"). Although they're playing it safe by wearing ponchos as well. Ponchos that say "Cool". And let's face it--when you wear an umbrella hat, you are the epitome of cool.

I wonder why no-one wears them at the Academy Awards?
3/27/2003 11:58:18 AM
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Oh, and I got laid off today.

Seven weeks severance. Could be worse.

Watch for my resume, tomorrow.
3/26/2003 04:14:42 PM
CNN.com - Morgan Freeman goes nuts
It's a puff piece, but it's a puff piece on Morgan Freeman. You know, Easy Reader???!!!
3/26/2003 04:13:18 PM
  3/26/2003 08:27:04 AM
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Mikita Global Services was last spotted at Burning Woman 2003. Further updates as he approached Points East available at HomeLandDrifter.
3/25/2003 11:55:37 PM
xray.art 3/25/2003 01:13:30 PM
I've just discovered I have something in common with George W. Bush, Jr.:
we don't watch a lot of TV.

Of course, I troll the 'net for news. I wonder if we frequent the same sites, as well.
3/25/2003 12:15:41 PM
Sunday, March 23, 2003
WWN: Space Alien Mummy Stuns Scientists!
LAHUN, EGYPT -- Officials have quietly covered up what may be the most stunning archaeological discovery of all time: The body of a perfectly preserved, carefully mummified space alien found buried in an ancient pyramid! The 5-foot-3-inch creature was discovered on January 7 near Lahun by an archaeologist exploring a small pyramid near the 12th Dynasty pyramid of Senusret II, but little public mention of the extraordinary find has been made.

"The mummy dates from about 1880 B.C. and is humanoid, but clearly not human," says a source in the Egyptian Department of Antiquities, who provided details and photographs of the find but spoke under condition of anonymity. "It's unclear what sex it was, but we do know it had unusual reptilian-type skin, no external ears and overly large, almond-shaped eyes. The mummy's tomb inscriptions showed it was a counselor to the king named Osirunet, which means 'star- or heaven-sent.' The body was mummified and buried with great respect and care, accompanied by a number of strange objects that we cannot identify."

The alien mummy was unearthed by Dr. Viktor Lubek, a Czechoslovakian citizen and retired professor from the University of Pennsylvania, according to the Egyptian source. The archaeologist located its hidden burial chamber while investigating a small pyramid to the south of the main pyramid at the Senusret II site thought to contain the pharaoh's queen.

"It was apparent from the outset that this tomb contained someone extraordinary because the mummy had been preserved in a very unusual manner," the Egyptian source says. "There was a mixture of gold and clay coating the corpse, and remaining vestiges of a linen-type cloth covered the being's skin. Objects inside the tomb included devices made of a tough synthetic-type material that no one has been able to identify, and the uses of these strange machine-like items are a complete mystery. No one's ever seen anything like this in any Egyptian tomb."

The source says the bizarre find has caused consternation among Egyptian officials, who want to cover it up until a plausible explanation can be found for the strange mummy. The government has consulted a number of respected archaeologists, but to date none can explain the artifact in ordinary terms. "The truth is, almost every expert who has seen this mummy has concluded it's not of earthly origin," the source says. "There's a feeling this is an extraterrestrial who somehow ended up advising an Egyptian king. But everyone in the government is shying away from that conclusion because it backs up wacky New Age ideas that the ancient Egyptians had help from space aliens in building their extraordinary civilization. The Egyptians refuse to believe their heritage came from outer space," he said.

The mummy is slated to be flown to a university in Florida where specialists will examine it more closely.
3/23/2003 10:06:57 PM
letter from Mark Z. Sun Mar 23 2003
I'm confused, Michael. Why is it OK for us to kill and maim iraqis by the hundreds or thousands, with our bombs but heaven forbid, they capture a few Americans and interrogate them and everybody is up in arms because it's against the Geneva convention? Killing and maiming is OK but questioning is not? It doesn't make any sense.

And what is with the media? Operation Iraqi freedom? Is that what we're doing?

Do you know anyone in the media who's being objective about this war? This is really bothering me.

3/23/2003 05:05:51 PM
letter from Mike B. Sat. Mar 22 2003
This morning's anti-war protest in Long Beach was interesting. (No matter one's political views on such things, I think the aesthetic and incidental elements are interesting and sometimes telling about our society.)

There were about 200 people. At least one woman had never been to an anti-war protest before, and was surprised that passers-by would shout hostile things. The organizers gave everyone a flier asking us to behave and to keep things neat. Volunteers went around before the march with trash bags, actively soliciting trash. ("You want that flier? I can throw it away for you.")

The sentiments were the usual mix of requests for peace and ad hominem attacks on the president. There was a new set of slogans, befitting a protest during a war, and most poetically summed-up by a sign carried by one marcher:


There were at least 4 and perhaps as many as a dozen counter-protestors. These folks were the flip-side of the most annoying of the protestors. They mainly shouted "TRAITORS!" and offered to buy us tickets to France or Germany. If this march had been a month ago, I would have accepted the offer, but now I have to spend too much time training for my hike to go overseas. One of the protestors, a Gulf War vet, kept shouting in reply, "Who'd you serve with, brother? I love my country. When did you serve?"

I think counter-protesting is bad news, very prone to being taken the wrong way even when not done by cranks. I spent many hours arguing with Scott Schaeffer-Duffy that we should not counter-protest people marching in solidarity with Israel. The only time I have felt OK with counter-protesting was when I was with The Billionaires in NYC and we would counter-protest Green Party rallies, on one memorable afternoon heckling Susan Sarandon in Washington Square Park.

Stay well, stay strong, and stay true to yourself.

Mike B.
Long Beach, California
"The saints are simply those men and women who relish the event of life as a gift and who realize that they only way to honor such a gift is to give it away."
  --William Stringfellow, Dissenter in a Great Society
3/23/2003 05:02:51 PM
Liberty Cabbage Theater Revival

The Liberty Cabbage Theater Revival began performing in the wake of September 11, with the "commitment to create the world in which we would like to live." From short, satirical skits to an hour-long touring musical, the theater is an extension of the social change activism of the collective's members. I saw their new work about oil dependancy, Oiligarchy, at the Tudor Bookshop in Kingston last Wednesday, Mar 19. The night "the war" started and the last evening my car started. How prophetic.

3/23/2003 04:47:03 PM
America Still the Best NEW! in Foundlings

This has been in my "little black book" since I don't know when.
3/23/2003 04:32:14 PM
Globalvision News Network article on Wooing al Jazeera
3/23/2003 01:12:29 PM
U.S. Department of Art & Technology
The US Department of Art and Technology is the principal conduit for facilitating the artist's need to extend aesthetic inquiry into the broader culture where ideas become real action. It also serves the psychological and spiritual well-being of all Americans by supporting cultural efforts that provide immunity from the extension of new media technologies into the social sphere.
3/23/2003 11:07:26 AM
Saturday, March 22, 2003
The Mirror Project: In Protest
"I think all of us who oppose this war should make a stand on the issue and show we care."
Balthusar Alvarez

"As I write this several of my friends sit in police vans after a mass arrest over on the west side of Manhattan."
Andy Milford

Reflective self-portraits, faces and voices of those protesting around the world.
3/22/2003 06:28:22 PM
1,400 arrested in San Francisco on Thursday.

Fourteen Hundred.

CNN.com - Second day of antiwar demonstrations - Mar. 21, 2003
3/22/2003 12:15:30 AM
Friday, March 21, 2003
The Circle Sanctuary provides a brief history of the Spring Equinox, Easter, and an Egg Rolling Choices Divination.
3/21/2003 05:54:05 PM
  3/21/2003 12:15:41 PM
  3/21/2003 12:15:04 PM
Thursday, March 20, 2003


yeah. stupid boycott.
AlterNet's The Mix talks about NYC Tavern on the Green de-Frenchizing their menu.
Tocqueville Connection French news, in English.
3/20/2003 05:30:34 PM
Virginia Postrel (in 1997, yet still apt) writes on The Lessons of Email Deceit. Basically, she says:
Email is really an oral medium. It only looks like writing. It is the way we converse with each other, time-shifting across continents, writing in the wee hours of the morning, reaching out when the thought of a friend or loved one crosses our mind. We pass on gossip and flip comments. We repeat jokes. We misspell words and speak in shorthand. We are emphatically opinionated. Email has all the authority of a phone conversation. It is not print. It is not even the Web.

But it repeats things verbatim. That fools people. It gives email authority it doesn't deserve. We're slowly learning, by embarrassing trial and error, not to take it so seriously.

Fortunately, the verbatim nature of email can also help guard against hoaxes and misunderstandings. They're easier to spot in written documents than in gossip and conversation. The clues stay put. Email may yet make us better, more skeptical readers--a good lesson in any medium.
3/20/2003 05:05:21 PM

War. Hunh. Good God!
What is it good for?

no. not Bruce Springsteen. Edwin Starr. Sheesh.

this is updated as I get something new

Where is Raed ? blog from inside Bhagdad.
still posting as of 3/24/2003
Is Raed for real? Paul Boutin thinks it is.
Official Iraq website. Seems to be down as I post. Haven't seen it myself.
Al Jezira Iraq coverage. In Arabic.
For a partial read, plug the address into Ajeeb's online Arabic Translation
Here's the new English Version of al Jazeera
Ajeeb claims to be the "premier Arabic web portal." They have a news service" as well.
Alternet has a lot of, er, alternative articles.
MediaChannel.org resident noise-maker Danny Schecter dissects the news.
Brian Flemming's L.A. warblog covers the LA protests
America Held Hostile
AntiWar.com antiwar news, viewpoints, activities
Arabic News.com
Frontier Post from Peshawar, Pakistan
Iraq Daily from the World News Network
Gulf-News from Qatar. yep. the country with no "u".
Tehran Times straight from Iran
US DoD's DefenseLink.mil
not just for now: Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting
Rally Of One a NEPA peace resource.
Get Your War On. THE comic.... Not for the kiddies
The new 3/20/03 strips
Mirror Project: In Protest messages via mirrors
the "US Dept of Art & Technology" authorized artistic acts of mediation
Human Shields updates, etc.
Electro-Hippies' Iraq Sit-In Web Page a virtual protest
e-protest against the coverage of the Iraqi war. designed to flood the CNN.com website
US Diplomat resigns to protest war
Agression against Iraq Indy Russian journalists site
Regular Everyday People Putting a Human Face on War
3/20/2003 02:42:58 PM
Sunday, March 16, 2003
an early, unused script for the 1998 US remake of GODZILLA, written by Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio.

And Evan Mather's Godzilla vs. Disco Lando"
3/16/2003 05:00:07 PM
Friday, March 14, 2003
Totally erroneous headline -- Reporter: Elizabeth spoke in verse when found

Using an archaism like "thou sayeth" doth not maketh verse.
3/14/2003 08:54:16 AM
Thursday, March 13, 2003
Rudy Rucker on Peter Bruegel the Elder and Puppets:
Puppetry and Shadow Plays
I’ve been reading up on “wayang,” the Javanese shadow plays, also known as “Chinese shadows” later on in Europe. This was popular in Java, Bali, and Malaya. I’m imagining that Williblad’s Ternatean woman friend Niay will introduce them to it.

I like the idea of shadow puppets because: (a) they’re like Flatland, (b) they prefigure, in some way, film and video, (c) they symbolize the world of appearances vs. the world of Reality (Plato).

Bruegel actually uses shadows very little in his paintings. There are dark patches under people and things, but never (?) a sharp-edged shadow. His worlds are like interiors with uniform light. Actually a typical thing, probably, in the cloudy Netherlands.
The rest of Rucker's Bruegel notes are rather interesting.
3/13/2003 12:27:00 PM
Sid & Marty Kroft Clean Out Their Closet

This Sunday (Mar. 16), the "H.R. Pufnstuf" creators will sell around 150 puppets, drawings and other memorabilia from their warehouse -- which contains a thousand items, according to Marty. He says the auction -- taking place at eBay and in Los Angeles at Bonhams & Butterfields -- came about because fans keep asking how they can buy memorabilia from shows like "Pufnstuf, The Bugaloos" and "Lidsville."
3/13/2003 12:18:51 PM
look, if anybody from my family is reading this, just skip on ahead to the next post, okay? thank you.

Masturbate for Peace: Using Masturbation to End War

We're gonna either die, or go blind: which would YOU prefer???
3/13/2003 12:39:48 AM
Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Stan Brakhage is dead, alas!

Here's a wonderful paean from Rick Silva, via nettime:
i was lucky enough to take a class taught by stan brakhage my first year at the university of colorado, i was so taken with his style of teaching and love of art that i ended up signing up for a class with professor brakhage each of my five years at c.u. when he came into class to lecture he'd be so into the film that was being shown that day or what was happening in the nation or community that he would talk for a half hour before taking off his coat and shoulder bag that held his paints and rolls of film. he would have as much passion lecturing about ken burns as he would about cassavetes or maya deren. he would tell great stories about being a young artist in new york and meeting jackson pollock or would recite long poems by gertrude stein and others from memory. you would go into class and professor brakhage would have james tenney or werner herzog as that day's visiting guest, it was amazing. he would lecture about technique in camera placement, movement, or set lighting with as much expertise as he would editing, narrative structure, character development or acting. he loved all film and would often say he watches more movies and goes to the theater more than anyone he knows. he was a patriot and loved the united states, he often became emotional about the horrors of past wars and slavery, and was critical of the lack of support for the arts in the united states and warned us young artists of the difficult road that lay ahead. he was inspiring everyday in his eloquent, powerful words and with his beautiful, masterful work. he called himself a documentary filmmaker, he documented the way we really see, with rapid, shifty eye movements, dreamy peripherals, and color filled hypnogogic closed eye vision. when talking about art his voice would raise up and he would echo the room with the phrase "art should aspire to be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" then after a dramatic pause he would add "so help you god."

"he who binds to himself a joy
does the winged life destroy
but he who kisses the joy as it flies
lives in eternity's sunrise"

- w. blake

rest in peace professor brakhage.

rick silva
3/11/2003 01:07:46 PM
Dang! so much for my summer vacation.
3/11/2003 09:01:53 AM
Homeland Drifter is... drifting.
3/11/2003 08:03:25 AM
Monday, March 10, 2003
Egyptian Fax Chamber has been posted to Wrottings
3/10/2003 11:45:17 PM
Sunday, March 09, 2003
Weekly World News: How to Tell if Your Neighbor is a TIME-TRAVELER

1. Lack of body hair -- Modern humans are less hairy than cavemen and evolution experts predict people of the future will be even less hairy.

9. Uses out-of-date slang -- Despite efforts to study our time period, they may mistakenly use phrases that are a few decades off, such as "Groovy."

3/9/2003 10:38:08 PM
Crystal Soda review
cool and refreshing! This page reviews two locally-made Crystal Club* sodas: Draft Style Root Beer & Birchola. As I'm writing, I'm drinking a glass of Crystal Club Sparkling Cream Soda.

*manufactured by the Crystal Soda Water Co, Scranton, PA
3/9/2003 03:10:06 PM
Friday, March 07, 2003
  3/7/2003 09:40:29 AM
Thursday, March 06, 2003

(Reuters) World famous artists Christo and Jeanne-Claude have today announced a new project that is slated to be begin immediately. Responding to U.S. Homeland Defense Secretary Ridge's call for artists to rally the cause through anti-terrorist art, Christo has received permission to wrap the White House in Washington D.C., using duct tape and plastic sheeting. Much like the artist's 1995 project "Wrapped Reichstag" in Berlin, "Wrapped White House" will, according to the artists' plan, seal the building and those inside.

Of the project the artists said, "We are very excited to use our art making methods in the international fight against terrorists. By wrapping the White House we hope to help keep terrorism under wraps, so to speak." Unlike "Wrapped Reichstag" which was a temporary project, "Wrapped White House" will be the artists' first permanent work of public art.

100,000 square meters (1,076,000 square feet) of clear high-strength polypropylene plastic, and 15,600 meters (51,181 feet) of silver duct tape, 13.2 cm (4 inch) wide, will be used for the wrapping of the White House. The work will be completed in as little as one week. The artist's have contacted other artists across the U.S. who are now in-route to Washington D.C. in order to finish this work in record time. Materials have been provided without charge by the German Government. Recalling the "Wrapped Reichstag," German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder stated, "Wrapping the symbol of German Democracy was a defining moment for the new Germany. Wrapping the White House will likewise be a defining moment as democracy is restored in America."
3/6/2003 10:19:20 PM
Breasts without Surgery

Without Saddam Hussein, I might never have known this:
Will The Ultra Breast System™ work for non-biological females?

Our non-biological female customers say yes! They have indicated successful and permanent growth. Our success in this area has been astounding.
3/6/2003 10:10:36 PM
fake accents as performance

NEW YORK (AP) — A man employed by CBS News to speak the words of Saddam Hussein during his interview with Dan Rather last week reportedly adopted a fake Arabic accent.

CBS News hired Steve Winfield, a Screen Actors Guild member with no such accent in real life. Winfield is advertised on the Web as a specialist in foreign accents, the Los Angeles Times reported on Wednesday. Winfield spoke Hussein's words after they had been translated by three independent Arabic translators, CBS said. He recorded the audio "in a voice compatible with the piece," CBS spokeswoman Sandra Genelius said on Thursday. The translation was fully accurate and "in complete compliance with CBS News standards," she said.

The Rather interview was seen by more than 17 million viewers on CBS' 60 Minutes II a week ago.
3/6/2003 10:45:57 AM
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
Franklin Nathan Stein and his Best Buddy Godzilla
for the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie
Frankie and Godzilla are pals
Frankie: I may only have the brain of a five-year-old, but I know how to protect it from the radio. The AFDB is the only thing keeping my head together. That and a lot of tape. Thanks, Doc!

Godzilla: Silly. It would never protect you from Mothra.
Frankie looks stylish in his Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie
3/5/2003 09:24:11 PM
If you're one of those strange people who have typed Michael Paulukonis into Google, yes, this is my website.

My recent foray into the Lysistrata Project netted me an interview with the Associated Press writer Michael Kuchwara--who happened to be born in Scranton, PA.

The story went out Monday morning to all sorts of places--from Maine to Hawaii to Louisiana to Alaska and Canada. Headlines varied extensively. Several papers used the story to integrate into local articles.

The version on CNN used one of my quotes (there were only two, to be honest) as a highlighted "pull-quote."

National news.

my my my.

now, if only I could put that in the bank....

on a serious note, the night included my first-ever attempt at directing for the (semi-traditional) stage (albeit an abbreviated "Staged reading" which made it easier); live music; information from local peace groups, and a panel discussion representing multiple points of view (including a local journalist who had stirred things up with a fiery "anti-protesters" editorial). A good night was had by all, but it couldn't have been done without all the help I (we) received.

And much thanks to my family--who even if they may disagree with me often enough--raised me to stand up for my beliefs. Thanks, all of you.
3/5/2003 12:40:56 AM
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
you can take the boy out of the country...
so my hometown--Madison, SD--has a website.

Technically, I was born in Chicago. Really technically I was born in Evanston; but my parents moved to South Dakota when I was two. So, other than being able to vote in Chicago elections, I consider Madison my "home town."
3/4/2003 11:36:07 PM
NEW in Foundlings

For years I've been fascinated by these tags on ladders. If it's not a step, then what is it?

In the early 80s, one of my parents' Japanese exchange students brought little flimsy "credit cards" as gifts; she said her father's company made them--they were used in vending machines to buy sodas, in hotels as room keys, etc. We didn't understand her English as well as the explanation on the card, which was printed in great detail about the possible uses. The opposing side had fantastic graphics, as so much Japanese design tends to have.

Unlike the key-cards of Holiday Inn. Which are also sturdier. And forgotten in my apartment building's laundry roomm
3/4/2003 09:27:16 PM
Saturday, March 01, 2003
letter from a correspondant

our informant Mark Z. writes:

While standing in the checkout line at the local Gerrity's supermarket, (yes I take my mother shopping every Saturday morning. Help me sweet Jesus. "Are these the tomatoes I buy your father?" -- I don't know ma. -- "Do you see noodles with Alfredo sauce?" -- They're right in front of you ma. See them. Right there. No. Next to those. Not to the left. To the right. It's the package with Alfredo written in big letters. Yeah. That's it. -- Ma, why don't you wear your glasses when we go shopping? -- "Because I can see fine without them." -- Sure you can. Well enough of that.) Anyway, while standing in the checkout line I glanced at one of the weekly rags. The headline was "The Secret Life of Saddam" with a picture of Saddam Hussein in a dress, an ugly dress I might add. (You think someone with all his money could afford something couture. Or at least get help from that stylist to the stars, Dave KuKukachoo.) Below the headline, also in big letters, "Saddam Is a transvestite." "His Secret Homemade Gay Movies." And finally, my favorite, "Saddam Does Not Like to Eat Hummus."

What is this saying? "Yeah, it's OK to bomb the bejesus out of Iraq because its leader is a hummus hating homo."

I don't know what's worse. That we have to resort to name calling to make us feel better about what the USA is about to do. Or what the headlines imply. Saddam is a homosexual and a transvestite. Therefore he's evil and must be destroyed. Well, you get the idea.

for those of you searching for more in-depth on-line tell-all coverage on the Hussein-tranny expose, I'm as clueless as you are.

Here's the March 4, 2003 numerology for Saddam Hussein.
and here is his tarot.
Saddam: the Secret Life sounds juicy; but it ain't.
Weekly World News has a Nov. 2002 Letter from Saddam Hussein that "most [papers] have refused to print."
They also claimed, in March 2002, to have a tell-all from Saddam's gay lover. Guess the liberal-media-elite have covered-up this one as well!
I did find this article that quotes someone analyzing Muammer Quaddafi as a "transvestite-type personality... highly unpredictable."
Eddie Izzard is a transvestite and "one of the funniest and most innovative comedians performing today." His website mentions he mentions Saddam Hussein in his stand-up act.
The Bob Craig Story: Episode IV. Don't even ask. I don't know.
And having utterly nothing to do with Saddam Hussein, here is The World's Leading Transvestite Specialists. In English, German, AND Spanish! NOT a "work-friendly" site

Yep. It's a Weekly World News story you're looking for. Well, it ain't online.
3/1/2003 07:29:17 PM
Flux Koncert 1973/1993/2003
Originally scheduled for May 12, 1973. Cancelled by the authorities.

Re-scheduled for May 12, 1993 at the Russian Cultural Center. Original tickets honored.

I attended

Received copy of program in mail, February 2003 from Mikita Global Services, who also attended.

Full-size program in Hungarian, Russian and English is available via FOUNDLINGS.

The project was (co?)sponsored by ArtPool--an alternative art-archive/exhibition-space I was "volunteering" at at the time. Generally, though, I just read the archives and had my art-world reality turned upside down. I don't know if it was a waste of time for them, but it wasn't for me. All the reading, exposure to decentralised mail-art, world-wide 'zine culture, sound poetry, and Fluxus burned me bad. I hope I do no dis-service to all when I say this event is a strong influnce on my HAPPY TIMES performance marathons.

3/1/2003 12:47:02 PM
NEW in Foundlings

3/1/2003 11:47:38 AM
all I see are little dots dots dots dots